Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
