Just fell off a train. Bad.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
