If i come over, it means nothing
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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