I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
