eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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