I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize