bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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