you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
