Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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