you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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