how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
