Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
