Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
