Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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