please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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