shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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