my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize