My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
