oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
