I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
