I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
