I think my vagina is haunted
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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