I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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