I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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