Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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