I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Randomize
