so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize