I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
