We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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