he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
