I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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