That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
