hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
