I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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