i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
