Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
another moral hangover. fuck.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
