from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize