I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
