So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
