Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
