I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
