My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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