no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
