After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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