I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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