i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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