So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
