you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
