I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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