I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize