Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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