did you get engaged???
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
