respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
