i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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