The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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