Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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