what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
