He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
