I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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