absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
