She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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