he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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