I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
