I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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