just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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