I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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