so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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