a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize