he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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