i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
