We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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