The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
