I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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