I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
