Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
