I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
me + whiskey = a bad person
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
