I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
