You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
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