yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
